THINGS I DID NOT DO IN SRI LANKA.
May 10, 2009
Apr 5 to Mar 8, 2009.
I did not wear a sari, sunscreen, or sunglasses; see a waterfall; figure out cricket; drive; end the war; overcome my distrust of curries that are white; read a book; cook; talk to anyone in the Special Task Forces, ever; go north; vote; develop a taste or the necessary olfactory desensitivity required for durian; lose a limb; take the train; get married; or die.
4 Responses to “THINGS I DID NOT DO IN SRI LANKA.”
1 adnan. May 10, 2009
you expected to figure out cricket?
2 zainab May 10, 2009
(:
does that mean you fell in love?
3 Laura May 11, 2009
I’ll be honest, I was kinda hoping for a tale of adventure and romance in which, while wearing a stunning sari and sunglass you caught the eye of a dashing Special Task Forces officer who was compelled to leave his post in order to make your acquiaintance and offer you some of the white curry he brought for lunch. when you exclaimed “I’ve never trusted white curry, but this is delicious!!!” he knew he had to have you (on account of it being his mother’s special recipe.) So he swept you off your feet and ran north to the train station, dashing through a waterfall so you could make the next train. Unfortunately, special forces caught up with you and decided to test your love through a series of challenges. (You were mostly like “uh… I just wanna go home. I mean the dude makes a delicious curry, it can’t be denied, but I don’t want no trouble.”) You figured playing along would be easier, so they made you read a book after which you were quizzed on the contents. (The book, btw, was Walter the Farting Dog Goes to the Circus, a favourite amonst special forces types). You were then put through a gruelling cricket training regime that took the majority of your visit, but you now hold rank as the top Sri Lankan Cricketer. Finally, you were asked to drive to an undisclosed location, where a wedding celebration had been organized, dorian being the main dish. Unfortunately, while exiting the car, the groom, Rodolpho, accidentally closed the door on your left hand, severing it completely, but you weren’t going to let that get you down. So you all sat down for dorian, and agreed whole heartedly that it was altogether too spicey and this, in fact, was the root or all the national turmoil. You organized a vote, voted, and successfully had dorian banned and now the country is at peace.
You never did wear sunscreen though.
4 baji May 12, 2009
why does durian hold this amazing title of ‘best fruit ever’? i’ve only had it in frozen popsicle form and it did not blow me away.
also, pix?